I made this lovely beef, potato and onion pie for my brother.
It has the words ‘WOW’ written on top.
Because he says WOW alot.
I’m late blogging here, because life’s been freaking insane lately. For a change, the causes have n0t been all my acronyms, but other peoples’. Anyroad, better late than never, as “they” (whoever they are) say and here I am. Acronymous but rarely anonymous.
PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)
AS (asperger’s syndrome)
whatever-the-fuck they call clinical depression, from time to time
OK, the last one was a weak joke so I could go pee.
I’m sitting with headphones on, in a bubble … this is because right now I can feel my jaw clench and my teeth grind gently and I am very likely about to become as irritable as hell and need meds. Oh j0y.
Why? Because my ex ripped my head of verbally over the phone. Direct conflict might be necessary from time to time, but if not, it’s a very fucking shitty thing to do to anyone with either of the first two of them there acronyms. I’m now sitting with really mild starterpack babysteps symptoms, but here’s where they can go – and have done in the past –
the most primal scream you ever heard
fear fear FEAR
… and of course, those little delights can jumpstart that friendly old cycle of depression and suicidal ideations. Who cares? ME, motherfucker; because I have had efuckingnough of it thankyouverymuch. Don’t piss on my bliss man, it’s modest enough and do not fuck with my serene routines.
So ea games has decided to run a competition at comic-con where you get your photo taken with as many ‘booth babes’ as possible.
Women are more than sex symbols.
The only reason ‘booth babes’ exist in the first place is to sell products.
Stop objectifying us please.
In this blog we love to talk about cyberpunk.
That is the idea of an interconnected future where the internet is everywhere ala William Gibson. But cyberpunk is also about a particular style of not only being but dressing and such.
So we bring you the continuing series cyberpunk fashion watch. Where we show you awesome things you could be wearing to look more cyberpunky??? I wish i had money for this.
Awesome! anyone got 400 bucks!
I want to get dirty, gritty.
I want to talk about my orgasms.
I want to talk about my body.
I want to talk about sex.
And I want to talk about these things in a positive manner.
I’m sick of hearing the negatives talked about when it comes to trans bodies, because honestly the positives far outweigh them.
Not often do transsexuals talk about their bodies.
When we do, it’s often in vague terms such as ‘well its just so much better’ or ‘so much more right’.
While those statements are all true they leave out the nitty gritty hormone changes.
Everyday as a trans-person I am put down by what OTHER PEOPLE have to say about MY body.
Well I really don’t like it, and it needs to be talked about in am empowering body positive manner.
Yes, sometimes I hate my body sometimes, because I can feel so stuck between male and female.
But it honestly has positives.
Like most women, it leaves us relatively hairless.
I myself do not have any body hair, except in the usual places under my arms, on my legs, my crotch and of course my head.
I have breasts, tits, boobs, mammaries. Call them what you will. I have them.
My breasts developed at the same rate as they normally do in genetic women in puberty, but trans women can expect half a cup size or less than their parents or siblings. This is not always the rule though. My nipples developed as did my areolae.
My breasts are really sensitive and very much an organ of touch and feeling.
Like most women, they also can get sore for various reasons.
They are shaped like breasts, look like breasts, feel like breasts and according to my wonderful partner great to play with.
So that covers the subject of tits.
Sometimes I’m surprised people aren’t more aware of these things.
I’ve had all kinds of questions during my life about my body and mostly the continual asking.
PISSES ME OFF.
lets talk touch, my skin is ALOT more sensitive than it used to be.
For men, skin is like armor. Protection.
For women, its an organ of sensation and feeling.
My body responds to touch now in the same way a cis-woman’s body does.
Erogenous zones in all the usual places.
Post orgasm, my whole body is alive with feeling.
Yeah what about those, orgasms.
I don’t cum like a boy, no white juices spitting everywhere.
I get very wet. But it depends on my mood. And yes my penis while still getting erect tends to react to stimulation very differently than it used to.
The so called ‘head’ essentially now acts like a clitoris for me and vibration on the ‘shaft’ produces a wonderful sense of well…honestly I can’t describe it.
Sex is like that though.
My orgasms are more diffused and tend to radiate throughout my body.
Where-as before they felt very centralised and were over in seconds followed by immense tiredness.
Now? I go tingly all over and always get a desire to cuddle and be near the person I’m with.
A need to be with the other person.
Anyway that about covers that.
I have a butt, and do enjoy anal sex.
My partner owns a strap-on for this express purpose.
I have a ‘p-spot’, may as well use it for something.
I have curves above my hips, smooth skin.
As Brian Molko of placebo said, the important part is the ‘breasts and all the rest’.
The fact I’m pre-op? its just semantics.
One day i’ll be post op, and my self esteem will feel better and so will sex.
For now, I’ll use what I have and live with it. I can do that. Sometimes it makes me cry.
What I need for you to do though, is not to make a big deal about it.
Because that is what makes life harder for women like myself.
And all trans people. We have no need to put up with your nitpicking out bodies and calling us out because we are perhaps incomplete.
So don’t get freaked out just because trans women have penises.
Because in the end when you get down to it.
Women are more than just a hole in their crotch.
It’s the overall matter of BEING that is far more important.
This blog, is maintained by two women.
Samantha and Ulla
Samantha is in her mid twenties. She has a form of high functioning autism, is an avid photographer and music lover.
She studies computer science at a major Australian university.
She is a gay woman with a partner of just over 4 years, she spends most of her time battling autistic stereotypes.
Bitching about gender, playing video games and watching old cult films.
Ulla is feeling a bit creaky and lives on the east cape of South Africa.
She enjoys long walks on the beach with her dogs, reading cyberpunk, playing with computers and photography.
Ulla is also a prolific blogger who’s entries can be found on QueerLife.co.za as well as many other places.
Like Samantha, Ulla is also gay.
They have lived long varied lives and have many many stories to tell.
Ulla’s favorite colour is Blue
Samantha’s favorite colour is Red.
They both abhor American spelling.
This blog is going to be on many varied topics, from cool computer hardware, to books, music, autistic rights and bitches, gender and sexuality as well as other less important things.
Ulla also blogs over at : http://wreckfish.net
Samantha also runs her personal blog over at: http://tru7hless.livejournal.com